First - Chapter 4

Lounging on my bed, I heard the door´s lock clicking open.
“Hello, First” I chanted from behind my book.
“Tanya!” said Collin´s voice.
“Collin?” I said, putting the book down.
A couple of small feet came galloping down the hall towards my bedroom and I sat up to receive the tearful little face.
“What happened?” I asked, as alarmed as I could get.
But the boy was weeping loudly now, and seemed completely unable to pronounce a single understandable word. I noticed First had just become slightly visible through my door, and was watching quietly from afar.
I called him over.
“First, what happened?”
The robot´s eyes flashed around a little bit, and he opened his mouth, apparently trying to find the right answer.
“We were walking” he said, still looking around the room. “Two men came that wanted me. Collin said I wasn´t for sale. One man had a gun in his pocket…”
I gasped. Then I had a look at Collin just in case, although I knew if that was the case then he wouldn´t have come running, but it was more of a reflex.
“Then what?” I cried, urging First to continue.
“Then… The man…”
The robot halted and looked fixedly at me. We both stared at each other for a while. First didn´t look like he knew how to explain, and in all my excitement, I almost didn´t notice the look of utmost astonishment on his face. He was scrutinizing my own expression of panic with a mix of fear and amazement and stood there paralyzed in the middle of the room.
“The man wanted to buy First” said Collin, a bit more calm now, and I turned to him “and he got angry cuz I didn´t want to give him to them so he took out his gun.” He gulped. “So we ran, but the men were faster and they grabbed me, but First fought them and I could go hide.”
When he was done he burst into more weeping and I cuddled him in my arms, drowning the noise in my sweater.
First was still looking at us in his own state of shock. I was sure that if he had only been able to breathe, he would´ve been gasping for air.
“It´s okay, First” I said, stunned. “It´s all passed, alright? You can go watch TV or something.”
The robot turned around, but barely changed his expression as he walked down the hall.
I was so dumbfounded.
From the very beginning I knew First wouldn´t be like your average machine, but such display of emotions… That couldn´t have been just simulated, could it? I never imagined it would come to this. First had saved Collin´s life bravely, or maybe just stupidly in a blind kind of way. And was that fear in his face? Fear of what? Of what had happened…?
Or of me…?
Of my expression… My reaction…
This changed everything, or so it felt like it. No matter how genius, First was not just a walking work of art now, or was he?
“Tanya.”
Collin´s voice got me out of my whirl of thoughts.
“First was shot” he said as he had just remembered.
“He was?”
He nodded.
“How…? Where?”
“I think in his hand.”
“Is he alright?”
Collin shrugged.
“Why don´t you ask him?”
I was silent for a moment, thinking. First had just regained a new dimension for me. I almost felt shy to even talk to him anymore, since up to that moment I hadn´t entirely thought of him as a person and wasn´t sure of whether I had treated him like such. There was some guilt among those thoughts as well.
“Yeah, you´re right” I answered. “Are you ok?”
“Uh huh” he nodded again.
“Ok. Go change, you won´t be going to school today.”
“Well, duh” he mumbled as he strolled away to his room.
I smiled and went out of the room.
First was sitting on the couch, but he hadn´t turned on the TV. He was just sitting quietly.
He turned his head to me when he saw me come in, but didn´t say anything. He was more like expecting me to say something.
“Collin told me you were shot. Is it true?”
“Yes, twice” he replied and he also seemed more calm now.
“Are you alright?”
“I can´t move my fingers.”
“Oh… Let me see.”
First got up and showed me his hand so I could examine it. I was no expert, but the damage was easy to spot. A few cables and rods were detached or broken, but at least the main structure of the hand seemed fine.
I sighed.
“Well, it doesn´t look hard to fix. Maybe I could get someone to do it. Where´s the other one?”
“The shoulder” he said and he pointed there with his good hand.
“Yeah, that one seems fine. Is it?”
“Yeah.”
“Good. I have to make some calls. Why don´t you go play with Collin?”
“Ok, Tanya.”
I watched him go and heard some voices in Collin´s room. Then I picked up the phone and started making calls.


Collin recovered soon from the fright. Next day he went back to school with a signed excuse from me and of course accompanied by First. I thereby forbid them to ever take a shortcut again and just follow the busiest streets. As for First, I could have sworn there was something different in the way he spoke, and in the way he acted after the incident of the day before. That or maybe I was just watching him more carefully. Either way, he seemed to have taken it a lot worse than Collin.
The pub´s windows were finally fixed, taking less time than was expected, so, unfortunately, that afternoon I had to return to work. I was serving a couple at a table when my boss pointed me from afar at another table at which Albert had just sat. I gave a sigh and walked up to him.
“Albert…”
“Afternoon, Tanya.”
“What are you doing here? You know what my boss thinks of this? If you´re gonna sit at a table, you could at least wear your other cleaner coat. And maybe shave a little.”
“I wasn´t gonna stay for long, anyway. Just droppin´ by to say hi” he said with his usual toothless smile and stretching out his arms as to get comfortable so that my boss could see.
“I´m serious, Al, if you keep doing this you´re gonna get me fired!”
“Don´t worry, I´ll be leaving as soon as you tell me what happened yesterday. You know: involving First?”
“Wha – how did you know?”
“I´m a hobo, remember? I know aaall there is to know about the street and the people that spend their day in it. Now tell me: how´s the thing going?”
I took a glance at the bar to check if my boss was around. He seemed to have gone in the kitchen, so I left my tray in the table and sat on the chair next to Albert´s.
“You will not believe it, Al” I started. “These two people attacked First and Collin on their way home from school and…”
“Wait, so Collin was there?”
I blinked, confused by the question.
“Well, yeah! What version did you hear?”
“Huh… must have had a piece of newspaper in my ear. Go on.”
“The men wanted to buy First for a hundred bucks” I laughed. “Even Collin didn’t fall for it, so they took out a gun. A gun, Albert!”
“Uh-huh.”
“Collin says First drove them away, fought them or something. I would´ve liked to see that” I said.
“But Tanya, did Collin tell you how it did that?”
“What?”
“Scaring them off! How do you suppose it managed that?”
“Well, we haven´t talked much about the subject since yesterday. I figured it wasn´t right to stress them up like that after what they had gone through.”
“I don´t know why you keep defending that robot, Tanya! It´s getting creepier by the day! You don´t know exactly what happened in that alley!”
I was beginning to get annoyed by the very same topic he brought up over and over those days.
“Oh, and I guess you do, then, huh? Who told you? That thirteen year old car thief? Or was it your darling drug dealers at the park?”
“You´re living with a robot that doesn´t remember its own ID code! A robot probably not approved in any legal way!”
“First saved Collin´s life yesterday!” I growled between my teeth, for I didn´t want to be heard talking about this by anyone. “Now, please, leave before I get into any more trouble!”
I don´t remember ever having such a fired up discussion with Albert, but the old man was going too far for too long now, and someone had to defend poor First, even though I hated to treat my old friend that way.
Albert just took another cold look at me before getting up from the chair and walking away.



I got home pretty late that day. We had to compensate for a lost day of work, and there was paperwork to fill and things to clean. By the time I could take off my shoes, it was already dark.
“Collin! First!” I said as I hung up my jacket, exhausted. “Hello, somebody home?”
“Hi, Aunt Tanya!”
Through the hallway came Collin, with absolutely no trace that anything had happened the day before.
“Aunt Tanya, look!” he said, pointing towards his bedroom, out of which came First wearing a white T-shirt and a pair of pants.
I stared very amused at the picture. First´s articulations and lose wires made bumps on the clothing that seemed three sizes wider than him and which hung making wavy movements as he walked at us.
“Wow, First! Look at you! You could almost pass for a human!” I laughed.
First wasn´t smiling, he had never done so, but he seemed to be having as much fun as Collin and me and, as usual, he seemed awfully interested in our laughter.
“How did you think of this, Collin? Geez!”
“We found old clothes in your closet and they were boy´s clothes, but they were big on me. First thought he could try them on.”
“Do you like wearing those, First?” I asked.
“They make me pass for a human.”
“Almost” I chuckled. “Well, if you like them, you can keep them, but you might want to take them off before going outside or people might think weird stuff.”
“Ok, Tanya.”
Though he wasn´t smiling, there was something in his eyes that almost made him look like he was. They looked so awake and lively.
After I got comfortable, I remembered how late it was for dinner.
“Say, Collin!” I called. “Did you eat anything? Collin?”
“He´s in the bathroom, Tanya” answered First instead. “And yes, I made him fish sticks in the microwave.”
“Good, great!” I said. “Thanks, First! I´ll be making mine then.”
“I would like to ask you something, Tanya.”
I paused and gave him all my attention.
“Anything, First.”
“Was Collin crying yesterday?”
I wrinkled my brow in puzzlement. I was expecting a new word he wanted the meaning of, or something.
“Yeah, as a matter of fact, he was crying.”
“When do people cry? When they are scared?”
“Um” I mumbled and leaned on the counter. “You can cry for many things. When you are sad, or when you´re very happy, or, like Collin, when you are scared, or desperate…”
“Then people must cry a lot.”
I laughed.
“Actually it happens more when the emotion is very intense. Except in kids. People cry more when they are kids. When they grow up, they tend to avoid it.”
“Why?”
“Sometimes crying is believed to be a sign of weakness, especially in men.”
“Why?”
“I don´t know… But maybe it has to do with being able to… control ourselves. With being capable of… keeping that mask on, you know?”
First shook his head.
“Well, sometimes it´s like showing your emotions is a bad thing. It´s like everybody should always act like they are… How can I put this? Like they are strong, immutable… Like nothing can hurt them.”
I paused to see if these words got through. First kept looking at me.
“Is showing emotions wrong?”
“No! No, it´s… It´s very complicated to explain…” I scratched my chin, trying to find suitable words. “It depends a lot of times on the person. Some people are so proud, they can´t let the weakness show. Others think nobody should ever hide their feelings.”
“I don´t think I can cry. But do you think I should hide my feelings?”
My lower lip trembled a little in puzzlement.
“No” I said. “I think if you have a feeling, you should let people know. I think talking to a friend helps.”
The robot was still quiet. He took his eyes off mine at last and seemed to focus them on no place in particular, considering what had just been said.
“Speaking to you is difficult” I commented. “It´s hard to know what to say to a robot. I don´t even know if you understand half the things I say.”
“I try my best. Sometimes I don´t understand. Life is a complicated thing to understand, Tanya.”
“It must be.”
“But I know you try your best too. And you don´t have to explain to me, but you do anyway. Even though sometimes I don´t understand, I´m learning many things. I want to show you that I´m happy I met you and Collin.”
This was too much for my poor sensitive self… He had said this without the slightest expression, yet somehow it seemed so real. My smile was so wide, it hurt. I noticed First´s eyes moving to my lips, examining them, and then moving back up to my own eyes.
“´K” I said, timidly. “Thank you, First.”
Collin got out of the bathroom and came to take First by the hand to play again, and First, untiring, followed him without a hint of a doubt.