First - Chapter 6

Chapter 6



I called from my room.
“First!”
Footsteps slowly came closer to my door and First spoke from the other side.
“I´m here.”
“Uh… I´m not feeling well. Do you think you could go out and buy me some tea?”
I had been in my room for almost an hour now, thinking. But Collin would be coming home any minute and I didn´t want him to find this: me, locked in my room, terrified of First. What´s more, I was actually terrified that First would open the door to Collin and that something could happen. Something I couldn´t help. I figured I had to get First out of the house immediately. What would come next I would figure out later.
I gasped slightly when the doorknob trembled, but the door didn´t open, since I had turned the lock earlier that afternoon.
“Why did you lock the door?” asked First’s muffled voice.
“Please, go get me what I asked you.”
“I need money.”
“Oh, yeah. Um, I think I left some change on the counter.”
“Alright, Tanya.”
The footsteps faded as First walked away down the corridor and after some jingling of coins and keys I heard the front door opening and then closing. As soon as the elevator’s whirring sound grew fainter as well, I got up from my bed bearing a most dreadful weight in my chest.


First had just bought the tea and was carrying it down the street in a small plastic bag. Around one of the alley corners he noticed Albert lazily sitting on the ground chewing on a sandwich. He walked at him.
“Albert” he called, and the old man stopped eating to look up at the robot. “Tanya knows what I did.”
Albert’s eyes blinked a couple times.
“What?” he spit, urgency rushing right into his expression.
“She saw it on the news. She knows I killed Dr. Lone.”
Albert stood up hurriedly.
“And?” he asked impatiently.
“I had hoped you could tell me.”
“Where is she now?”
“At home, locked in her room.”
The old man raised his brow.
“Ooh, I see…”
“She thinks I´m going to hurt her, doesn´t she?”
Albert chuckled ironically.
“You are clever! And she sent you for tea, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, maybe she needs some time off. To… think through this. Maybe… you shouldn´t show up at home just yet. Why don´t you go take a walk and come back in a couple of hours?”
First was doubtful.
“But they´re looking for me now.”
“Who?”
“The police. They were on the news. They know I did it.”
“Ah, yeah, that’s right” sighed Albert. “Well, just hide in some alley, like you did that one time, remember?”
“The alley where Tanya and Collin found me?”
“That´s the one. You should probably avoid being seen by anyone, too.”
“Alright.”
First turned to leave, but stopped. Albert seemed ready to leave too.
“Albert” he pleaded. “Don´t tell the police yet.”
Albert took his time to respond with one nod and a wave of his hand. First then hurried down the dark street, and Albert ran down to our building as fast as his old age would allow him and rang.
“Yeah?” I answered suspiciously.
“It´s Al.”
The door buzzed open and Albert rushed to the elevator. When I opened my front door, there he was, sweaty and anxious.
“I met First on the street. He told me what happened. Are you alright?”
I hushed him. Collin was in his room.
“Where is he?” I asked in a whisper and let him inside.
“I told him to take a couple of hours before coming home.”
I locked the door.
“Oh, Albert, I don´t know what to do. Collin asked me about him. How am I supposed to deal with this?”
“Perhaps you should start thinking about doing something about him, like I told you from the very beginning. This is getting out of control.”
“But, Albert… I couldn´t do that to him when he´s been so good to us, he saved Collin´s life!”
“He shot the men, Tanya. He took the gun and shot it!”
“What? How do you know?”
“I live on the street, I… should´ve told you.”
“Of course you should have! Why didn´t you? Why didn´t Collin tell? First never said anything of the sort!”
“Because he´s too smart for that. He knew what he had done.”
I sat down on one of the bar’s stools.
“And Collin´s spent so much time with him. I can´t stand to think about what could’ve happened. They looked so close… I was so sure… I really have to do something.”
So I stood up again and reached for the phone before I had time to reconsider. But oddly enough, Albert stopped me from dialing.
“Wait, not yet. To be honest, Tanya, I´m not so sure we should either.”
“What do you mean?”
“That I´m not sure he deserves being turned in.”
“But Albert, what he did… We can´t just keep him, can we?”
“Wait, which one of us is in which side? You´re confusing me, do you wanna turn him in or not?”
I quickly shut up and leaned my head on my hand.
“I don´t know” I whimpered.
“I can´t give much of an opinion” said Albert, “but as much as I´ve seen, he seems very sorry to have done those things. He… he seemed very sad to tell me this.”
“That doesn´t solve anything. Maybe he really doesn´t know what he does.”
“Maybe he didn´t know before. He seemed pretty aware of his actions when I spoke to him. Who knows? That Dr. Lone could´ve kept him locked up for years.”
“So what are you saying with this? What should we do? We can´t let this matter go, but turning him in…”
“Talk to him” Albert proposed. “The more we know the better. We can clear our heads before making the decision of turning him in.”
I sighed at the thought of facing First with what promised to be a very tense conversation, but had to nod.
“Yeah… Yeah, you´re right. Ok, I´ll talk to him. Would you mind taking Collin out for dinner? McDonnald’s, maybe?”
“Sure.”
“Thanks, Al” I said and walked to Collin’s room attempting to change my expression in my way there. “Collin! Come on, honey, you´re going out for dinner with Uncle Albert.”
“Where´s First?”
“He´s out buying me something.”
“Can he come?” he asked, thrilled.
“No, hon, he needs to be here tonight. Go with Al.”
I stuffed Collin in his jacket and took him to Albert. We went out the front door but halted. First Was waiting patiently outside with the package of tea in his hand.
“First” I said, pretending to be non-chalant.
Collin was happy to see him, though.
“First!” he exclaimed.
“Go on, Collin, hurry up, or they might close.” I shoved Albert and Collin in the elevator and pushed the button myself.
“Bye, First” said Collin gleefully.
First gave one look at the boy but didn´t answer. He faced me.
“I thought you were gonna be out longer” I said in lack of a better idea.
First simply stretched out the hand with the tea. I took it quietly. Then he stretched out the one with the change. I took it too.
“Thank you, First” I said timidly.
First was too silent, his face unexpressive. He walked around me and went inside. I sighed silently and closed the door behind me. I needed a few seconds before walking away from the door. It was just so sad that I couldn´t get near him. I was afraid of him, and I hated myself for that in some way. First was calmly sitting on the couch.
“First.”
No answer.
“First, what exactly did you hear?” I cautiously asked.
I gave another shaky sigh and walked up to face him. First turned his head to one side.
“Answer me, First” I stuttered. “I order you to answer me.”
“I don´t want to talk about it.”
First’s voice was off. It was the only way I could tell his mood. He was keeping all the rest of him completely neutral. I went ahead seeing I could finally get a few words out of him.
“But I think we should. You have to understand that I got scared when I heard what I heard. Don´t you? Don´t you understand?”
I paused to see if I could get a reply, but none came.
“Maybe we can find a way out! You should at least tell me what really happened. I think I have a right to know.”
“You want to turn me in. There´s nothing to talk. I shouldn´t be here now.”
“It´s not like that!” I hurried to say. “I don´t know how much you heard, but you have to believe me: I don’t want you out of this house, and… Jesus, First, I´m going crazy here, I could use some cooperation!”
First wasn´t reacting, and I was getting more and more desperate and a lot louder.
“I just realized I don´t know you! And… All this time Albert´s been telling me how it was so strange that you didn´t know your ID number, and how I… didn´t know what you were capable of. And now this… this just proves that you really are capable of everything. Even murder! First, ANSWER ME!
I yelped and gave a jump.
First had just stood up like he had been pushed upwards by a spring, his eyes wide open and focused on mine like those of a tiger on its prey, his arms and legs flexed and alert, his face contracted in his most defiant, anguished expression yet.
I backed away, startled by the sight of the enraged robot. He was almost trembling with anger, and I was actually expecting an attack.
Fortunately it never came.
First stared, his expression of fury changing to that of surprise, then fear… or… sadness… Finally, he dashed through the front door and out of sight, leaving me with the deepest feeling of despair and grief.
The robot stood still out in the hallway, thinking of a place to go. He could only make out one that would both hide him well and keep him from hurting anyone, but it was way too terrible a thought. Tanya wouldn´t be there, and nor would Collin.
First stood outside the front door long, so long that Albert and Collin returned before he could make up his mind. Albert looked warily at First as Collin greeted him enthusiastically and knocked on the door. I had no choice. I opened the door and Collin dragged First inside by the hand.
Before things could get any tenser, I sent Collin to bed early, said goodbye to Albert and went to bed myself without a word, leaving my door open to keep an eye on Collin’s, holding the vacuum cleaner’s metallic tube under the pillow.


Of course I couldn’t have slept even if I had wanted to. I barely heard First do anything all night, so I figured he was quietly sitting somewhere, which I thanked the heavens for. An hour before sunrise, though, I heard him get up from the couch and walk resolutely towards my room. His slow, heavy footsteps got closer until I felt them stop right at my door once again, only this time the door was wide open.
There was silence for a few moments. He was still there, standing silent, looking at me. I held my breath until he finally spoke.
“Tanya.”
I tried to ignore him, clutching the tube tight under the pillow.
“I know you´re awake, Tanya.”
I couldn´t possibly ignore him. I answered, although I didn´t even bother to move.
“What do you want, First?”
“I want to talk. Please.”
“Now you want to talk?”
“Please.”
“Talk, then.”
“You´re afraid of me.”
“What would you know about fear?”
“Fear is what you feel when you think you will get hurt by something. I know fear; I have been afraid. You said I had to understand. So I understand that you are afraid. I´m afraid too, now.”
“Why? I thought I was the one supposed to be afraid, since there´s a murderer robot at my bedroom door.”
Only a short pause. He seemed to want to overlook that.
“I´m afraid… I´m afraid I might hurt you too. And Collin.”
“Then we both agree. There´s nothing to talk for tonight. So please, go away.”
Silence.
“You´re right, Tanya. I´m very sorry.”
He walked away.
He went to the entrance and reached out to get his set of keys from the counter on his way. He thought again, glancing at the keys for a few seconds, and decided to leave them this time. He opened the door and left.
Back in my bed, I throw the tube in the floor, frustrated and heartbroken.


It was still dark outside. The streetlights still had a couple of hours of work. First walked determinedly out of the building’s front door to find Albert sitting on the floor covered up in a blanket. The old man stopped snoring when the heavy metal doors clanked open. First stopped and looked down at him.
“I heard on the news someone told the police I had been taken in a van. If it really was you, I thank you.”
Albert still was a little numb and needed a moment to find out what was going on.
“Hey!” cried Albert, rising from the floor. “First!”
First halted to face the old man.
“What did you do?”
“I didn´t do anything yet.”
“Then what are you doing here now?”
“I left them. You said it: I´m dangerous. I shouldn´t be with them.”
First kept walking with determination.
“Where are you going?”
As First didn´t respond, Albert yelled again.
“I asked you a question!”
“I won´t answer it” said First, turning his head, but not even slowing down the pace.